so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
