im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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