I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
