Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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