But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
