i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
