I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
