He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize