I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
