i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
