So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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