so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
