Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
