He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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