If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
