we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
