I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
