we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
