just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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