Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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