Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
