she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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