Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think I won the penis lottery.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
