I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
