I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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