Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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