you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
