Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
