i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well you can't waste a boner
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
