no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
