is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
