so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
