Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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