I like my sex mixed with concussions.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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