the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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