can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
