i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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