Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
