Me. At least after what I've been through.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
