why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
God I need to hump something, right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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