There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish they made helmets for livers.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
