I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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