Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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