Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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