You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
