If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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