Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
