i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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