i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
