Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
